I’m sorry! (Wait, was that really necessary?)

By Michele Stillwell, Director of Marketing and Accounting at MEDiAHEAD

Why do women always say they’re sorry? It seems like we apologize for everything, even when we didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the weirdest thing, and I am so guilty of it. So, I made a deal with myself. I am going to do my best to STOP saying it.

Why? Because I usually haven’t done anything wrong and it’s ridiculous how many times I’ve caught myself saying it. Once it was on my radar, I started realizing just how often I apologize unnecessarily.

A University of Waterloo, Canada study found that women tend to apologize more often because they have a lower threshold than men for what they consider offensive.

I found this awesome poem, and really wanted to share it with you.

Stop apologizing.

You don’t have to say sorry for how you laugh, how you dress, how you speak. You don’t have to be sorry for being yourself. Do it fearlessly. It’s time to accept, this is you and you have to spend the rest of your life with you. So, start loving your sarcasm, your awkwardness, your weirdness, your unique sense of humor, your everything. It will make your life so much easier to simply be yourself.

– Author Unknown

Practice Self-Awareness

Realizing that you are apologizing all the time is the first step. A good way to figure out if this is an issue is to keep track of how many times throughout your day you apologize. Over the next few days, write down each time you say the word, “sorry.” You might be surprised how many times you apologize without even realizing it.

Change Your Vocabulary

Do you have a project at work that is weeks overdue? Apologizing for missing a deadline is reasonable. But there are plenty of situations where using the words “I’m sorry” aren’t necessary.

• “Sorry, could you send me that report?” could be changed to, “Please send me that report.”
• “Sorry, I won’t be able to make it on Wednesday.” could be, “I wish I could make it on Wednesday. Keep me on the list for next time!”
• “Sorry, could you repeat that?” might be, “Excuse me, could you repeat that?”

As you become more self-aware, replace the word “sorry” with more appropriate words and phrases. You may be surprised how much confidence this gives you once you figure it out. Good luck!